This app takes a list of headlines from The Onion, builds a Markov Chain, and generates new article titles. Example:

"McDonald’s Now Offering Sainthood To Anyone In Character Costume"

This comes from the following real articles:

• "McDonald’s Now Offering Bereavement Prices"
• "Desperate Catholic Church Now Offering Sainthood To Anyone Who Regularly Attends Weekly Mass"
• "Report: Most Parents Willing To Entrust Children To Anyone In Character Costume"

Greatest hits:

• "Woman Injured In Rush To Save Relationship"
• "Child Therapist Excited To Have Normal Conversation"
• "Congressman Hurt To Discover Cure For Whatever He's Getting"
• "Report: Whites More Likely To Be Driven To Extinction By Humans"
• "New Study Finds 85% Of Americans Would Like To Consume Much More"
• "Poll Shows Majority Of Americans Just Want To Feel Something, Anything"
• "Relationship Experts Recommend Standing Up At Airport Burrito Restaurant"
• "TSA Agent Can’t Bring Himself To Care About Stupid Bullshit Again"