def status(server):
lobbyhostname = static_config.get('static', 'lobby')
serverhostname = static_config.get('static', server)
excalping = ''
if os.system('ping -c 1 ' + lobbyhostname) != 0:
return "lobby is down :("
else:
serverpoll = os.system('ping -c 1 ' + serverhostname)
if serverpoll != 0:
return "%s is down :(" % (serverhostname)
else:
excalping = [line.rpartition('=')[-1]
for line in subprocess.check_output(
['ping', '-c', '1', serverhostname]).splitlines()[1:-4]][0]
return("%s is up. ping from the UK is %s" % (server, str(excalping)))
def status(server):
lobbyhostname = static_config.get('static', 'lobby')
serverhostname = static_config.get('static', server)
if os.system('ping -c 1 ' + lobbyhostname) != 0:
return "lobby is down :("
else:
serverpoll = os.system('ping -c 1 ' + serverhostname)
if serverpoll != 0:
return "{} is down :(".format(serverhostname)
else:
excalping = [
line.rpartition('=')[-1] for line in subprocess.check_output(
['ping', '-c', '1', serverhostname]).splitlines()[1:-4]
][0]
return "{} is up. ping from the UK is {}".format(
server, str(excalping))
def main():
global LAST_UPDATE_ID
HAIL_SATAN = 0
logging.basicConfig(
format='%(asctime)s - %(name)s - %(levelname)s - %(message)s')
# Telegram Bot Authorization Token
bot = telegram.Bot(config.get('telegram', 'token'))
# This will be our global variable to keep the latest update_id when requesting
# for updates. It starts with the latest update_id if available.
try:
LAST_UPDATE_ID = bot.getUpdates()[-1].update_id
except IndexError as TypeError:
LAST_UPDATE_ID = None
while True:
for update in bot.getUpdates(offset=LAST_UPDATE_ID, timeout=20):
try:
if update.message:
if update.message.text:
def post(msg):
"""Posts a message to Telegram."""
bot.sendChatAction(
update.message.chat_id,
action=telegram.ChatAction.TYPING)
bot.sendMessage(update.message.chat_id, msg)
def post_random(odds, text):
"""Has a one in x chance of posting a message to telegram."""
if random.randint(1, odds) == odds:
post(text)
text = update.message.text.encode("utf-8")
first_name = update.message.from_user.first_name.encode(
"utf-8")
# logging for quotable data
if update.message.chat.title.encode(
"utf-8") == "May Be A Little Late" and text[0] != '/':
with open("data/mball.txt", "a") as quote_file:
quote_file.write("%s: %s\n" % (first_name, text))
quote_file.close()
else:
with open("data/cmds.txt", "a") as quote_file:
quote_file.write("%s: %s\n" % (first_name, text))
quote_file.close()
if text.startswith("/"):
text = text.replace("@originalstatic_bot", "")
if text == "/help":
post("type '/' into chat, or press the '[/]' button to view all available commands")
elif text.lower().startswith("/char"):
char_args = text.title().split()
if len(char_args) == 4:
post(
ffxiv_char(
char_args[1],
char_args[2],
char_args[3]))
else:
post(
"needs 3 arguments. usage: /char [first name] [last name] [server]")
elif text.lower() == "/quote" or text.lower() == "/quote ":
quote_file = open("data/mball.txt").read().splitlines()
post(random.choice(quote_file))
elif text.lower().startswith("/quote") and len(text) > 7:
names = static_config.get('static', 'names').splitlines()
# Pull aliases for names from static_config.ini
name_elem = next(name for name in names if text[7:].lower() + ',' in name.lower())
name = name_elem[:name_elem.index(':')+1]
quote_file = open("data/mball.txt").read().splitlines()
random.shuffle(quote_file)
post(next(line for line in quote_file if line.startswith(name)))
elif text.lower().startswith("/calc"):
post(calculate(text, first_name))
elif text.lower().startswith("/tweet"):
if len(text) < 7:
post("usage: /tweet (some garbage)")
elif len(text) >= 140:
post("maybe make your tweet just a teensy bit shorter?")
else:
post_tweet(text[7:])
post(random.choice([
"tweet posted. fuccckkkk", "tweet posted. this is a terrible, terrible idea",
"tweet posted. why though? why?", "garbage posted.", "tweet posted.",
"tweet posted. it's a shitty tweet and this is coming from a toilet"
]) + " (http://twitter.com/raidbot)")
elif text.lower().startswith("/youtube") or text.lower().startswith("/yt"):
post(youtube(text))
elif text.lower() == "/vgm":
post(vgm())
elif text.lower() == "/alias":
post(static_config.get('static', 'alias'))
elif text.lower() == "/raid":
post(static_config.get('static', 'raid'))
elif text.lower().startswith("/weather"):
post(get_weather(text))
elif text.lower().startswith("/translate"):
post(translate(text))
elif text.lower() == "/news":
results = latest_tweets("ff_xiv_en")
if isinstance(results, str):
post(results)
else:
for tweet in results:
post("https://twitter.com/ff_xiv_en/status/%s" % (tweet.id_str))
elif text.lower() == "/status":
post(status("excalibur"))
elif text.lower() == "/timers":
post(timers())
elif text == "/flush":
post("aaaah. why thank you, %s. ;)" % (first_name.lower()))
elif text.lower() == "/goons":
post(random_tweet("Goons_TXT"))
elif text.lower() == "/yahoo":
post(random_tweet("YahooAnswersTXT"))
elif text.lower() == "/meirl":
post(random_tweet("itmeirl"))
elif text.lower() == "/wikihow":
post(random_tweet("WikiHowTXT"))
elif text.lower() == "/tumblr":
post(random_tweet("TumblrTXT"))
elif text.lower() == "/fanfiction":
post(random_tweet("fanfiction_txt"))
elif text.lower() == "/reddit":
post(random_tweet("Reddit_txt"))
elif text.lower() == "/catgirl":
post(random_tweet("catgirls_bot"))
elif text.lower() == "/catboy":
post(random_tweet("catboys_bot"))
elif text.lower() == "/catperson":
post(random_tweet(random.choice(
["catboys_bot", "catgirls_bot"])))
elif text.lower() == "/ff14":
account = [
"ff14forums_txt",
"FFXIV_Memes",
"FFXIV_Names",
"FFXIV_PTFinders"]
post(random_tweet(random.choice(account)))
elif text.lower() == "/oocanime":
post(random_tweet("oocanime"))
elif text.lower() == "/damothafuckinsharez0ne":
post(random_tweet("dasharez0ne"))
elif text.lower() == "/dog" or text.lower() == "/doggo":
post(random_tweet("dog_rates"))
elif text.lower() == "/twitter":
account = [
"ff14forums_txt", "FFXIV_Memes", "FFXIV_Names",
"Goons_TXT", "YahooAnswersTXT", "TumblrTXT",
"Reddit_txt", "fanfiction_txt", "WikiHowTXT",
"itmeirl", "oocanime", "damothafuckinsharez0ne",
"dog_rates", "FFXIV_PTFinders"]
post(random_tweet(random.choice(account)))
elif text.lower() == "/rt":
post(retweet())
elif text.lower().startswith("/wiki"):
post(wiki(text))
elif text.lower() == "/heart":
post("<3<3<3 hi %s <3<3<3" % (first_name.lower()))
elif text.lower() == "/ping" or text.lower() == "ping":
post("pong")
elif text.lower() == "/bing" or text.lower() == "bing":
post("bong")
elif text.lower() == "/quoth the raven":
post("nevermore")
elif text.lower() == "/sleep":
post("brb 5 mins")
time.sleep(300)
elif text.lower() == "/brum":
post(random.choice(["https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/0c/c1/9a/0cc19aa7d2184fbeb5f4ff57442f7846.jpg",
"http://i3.birminghammail.co.uk/incoming/article4289373.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/Brum1.jpg",
"https://i.ytimg.com/vi/pmBX3461TdU/hqdefault.jpg",
"https://i.ytimg.com/vi/bvnhLdFqo1k/hqdefault.jpg",
"https://abitofculturedotnet.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/img_1133.jpg"]))
elif text.lower().startswith("/sleep ") and len(text[7:]) >= 1:
try:
sleep_timer = int(text[7:])
if sleep_timer > 300:
post("i can only go to sleep for up to 5 minutes.")
else:
post("brb")
time.sleep(sleep_timer)
except ValueError as e:
post("that's not a number, %s." % first_name.lower())
else:
post(
"that's not a command i recognise, but we can't all be perfect i guess")
elif (text.lower().startswith("hey ") or text.lower() == "hey"
or text.lower().startswith("hi ") or text.lower() == "hi"
or text.lower().startswith("sup ") or text.lower().startswith("hello")
or text.lower().startswith("good morning")):
post(random.choice(["hi", "hi!", "hey", "yo", "eyyyy", "*flush*", "sup",
"hey %s... *flush* ;)" % (
first_name.lower()),
"hello %s! *FLUSH*" % (
first_name.lower()),
"hello %s" % (first_name.lower())]))
elif "robot" in text.lower():
post_random(2, "robutt")
elif "same" == text.lower():
post_random(4, "same")
elif text.lower().startswith("i "):
post_random(20, "same")
elif "rip" == text.lower() or "RIP" in text or text.lower().startswith("rip"):
post("ded") if random.randint(1, 2) == 1 else post("yeah, rip.")
elif "lol" in text.lower():
post_random(10, "lol")
elif "lmao" in text.lower():
post_random(5, "lmbo")
elif "f**k" in text.lower() or "shit" in text.lower() or "piss" in text.lower():
post_random(20, random.choice(
["RUDE", "rude", "... rude", "rude... but i'll allow it.", ":O"]))
elif "hail satan" in text.lower() or "hail santa" in text.lower() or "hail stan" in text.lower():
HAIL_SATAN = 3
post("hail satan")
elif (text.lower() == "thanks" or text.lower() == "ty" or text.lower() == "thank you"):
post_random(2, random.choice(
["np", "anytime", "my... *flush* pleasure.", "no problem, now sit on my face"]))
elif "k" == text.lower() or "ok" == text.lower():
post(random.choice(["... k", "k"]))
elif "nice" == text.lower() or "noice" == text.lower():
post_random(4, "noice")
elif "69" in text.lower() or "420" in text.lower():
post("nice")
elif "raidbot" in text.lower():
post_random(6, random.choice(["WHAT?? i wasn't sleeping i swear",
"i can hear you fine, %s. you don't need to shout" % (
first_name.lower()),
"please redirect all your questions and comments to yoship. thank you",
"careful now",
"my /timeplayed is a time so long it cannot be comprehended by a mortal mind",
"look i'm trying to be a toilet here, stop bothering me",
"beep boop. *FLUSH*",
"yoship pls nerf my toilet handle",
"/unsubscribe",
"plumber job when?????",
"switch on that toaster and throw it in me",
"...",
"what, you want me to say something witty?"
"/flush"]))
elif "yoship" in text.lower():
post_random(2, random.choice(["yoship pls nerf this static group (down my toilet bowl)",
"spoilers: i'm yoship",
"yoship is MY waifu and nobody will ever take my darling away from me~",
"i can't wait for yoship to introduce stat boosting microtransactions",
"1.0 was better it had more polygons",
"lvl 60 toilet lfg exdr",
"they nerfed the catgirl butts i want all my sub money back",
"imo the relic quests aren't long enough",
"plumber job when?????",
"i know a place you can put your live letter"]))
elif "civ" in text.lower():
post_random(2, "my flushes are backed by NUCLEAR WEAPONS!!!")
elif random.randint(1, 500) == 1:
post("%s: i am a brony, and %s" % (first_name.lower(), text.lower()))
if HAIL_SATAN == 3:
HAIL_SATAN = 2
elif HAIL_SATAN == 2:
post("HAIL SATAN")
HAIL_SATAN = 1
elif HAIL_SATAN == 1:
post("hail satan.")
HAIL_SATAN = 0
except Exception as e:
with open("data/debug.txt", "a") as err_file:
err_file.write(
"%s - Error %s\n%s\nJSON: \n%s\n" %
(str(datetime.now()), str(e), traceback.format_exc(), str(update)))
err_file.close()
finally:
# Updates global offset to get the new updates
LAST_UPDATE_ID = update.update_id + 1
def main():
global LAST_UPDATE_ID
global TRY_AGAIN_MARKOV
# Telegram Bot Authorization Token
bot = telegram.Bot(config.get('telegram', 'token'))
# This will be our global variable to keep the latest update_id when requesting
# for updates. It starts with the latest update_id if available.
try:
LAST_UPDATE_ID = bot.get_updates()[-1].update_id
except IndexError:
LAST_UPDATE_ID = None
TRY_AGAIN_MARKOV = False
while True:
for update in bot.get_updates(offset=LAST_UPDATE_ID, timeout=60):
try:
if update.message:
if update.message.text:
def post(msg):
"""Posts a message to Telegram."""
bot.send_chat_action(
update.message.chat_id,
action=telegram.ChatAction.TYPING)
bot.send_message(update.message.chat_id, msg)
def post_random(odds, msg):
"""Has a one in x chance of posting a message to telegram."""
if random.randint(1, odds) == odds:
post(msg)
def append_to_file(filename, msg):
"""Logs a line of text to a given file"""
with open("data/{}".format(filename),
"a") as log_file:
log_file.write(msg)
log_file.close()
text = update.message.text.encode("utf-8")
first_name = update.message.from_user.first_name.encode(
"utf-8")
# logging for quotable data
if "group" in update.message.chat.type:
if update.message.chat.title.encode(
"utf-8"
) == "May Be A Little Late" and text[0] != '/':
append_to_file(
"mball.txt",
"{}: {}\n".format(first_name, text))
if text.startswith("/"):
text = text.replace("@originalstatic_bot", "")
if text.lower() == "/dev":
dev_url = "http://xivdb.com/assets/devtracker.json"
dev_response = http.request('GET', dev_url)
dev_json = json.loads(
dev_response.read().decode())
print(str(dev_json))
try:
for x in range(0, 5):
username = dev_json[x]['thread'][
'user']['username']
dev_title = dev_json[x]['thread'][
'user']['title']
post_url = dev_json[x]['thread']['url']
post_title = dev_json[x]['thread'][
'title']
post("{} ({}) posted:\n{}\n{}".format(
username, dev_title, post_title,
post_url))
except Exception as e:
print(e)
if text.lower().startswith(
"/lore") and len(text) > 6:
lore_search = text[6:].title()
post('placeholder lol')
if text.lower().startswith(
"/map") and len(text) > 5:
map_search = text[5:].title()
try:
map_found = False
maps_url = 'https://api.xivdb.com/maps'
maps_response = http.request(
'GET', maps_url)
maps_json = json.loads(
maps_response.read().decode())
for x in range(len(maps_json)):
for y in range(
len(maps_json[x]
['placenames'])):
if map_search == maps_json[x][
'placenames'][y]['name']:
map_url_list = [
map_urls for map_urls in
maps_json[x]['placenames']
[y]['layers']
]
map_found = True
if not map_found:
for x in range(len(maps_json)):
for y in range(
len(maps_json[x]
['placenames'])):
map_name = maps_json[x][
'placenames'][y]['name']
if map_search in map_name:
map_url_list = [
map_urls for map_urls
in maps_json[x]
['placenames'][y]
['layers']
]
found_map_name = maps_json[
x]['placenames'][y][
'name']
map_found = True
except Exception as e:
print(e)
if not map_found:
post("couldn't find that map")
else:
for map_url in map_url_list:
post("https://api.xivdb.com{0}".format(
map_url))
post("found {0} in a fuzzy search".format(
found_map_name))
if text.lower().startswith("/char"):
if len(text.title().split()) == 4:
char_args = text.title()
first = char_args.split(' ')[1]
last = char_args.split(' ')[2]
server = char_args.split(' ')[3]
bot.send_chat_action(
update.message.chat_id,
action=telegram.ChatAction.TYPING)
post(ffxiv_char(first, last, server))
elif len(text.title().split()) == 1:
try:
bot.send_chat_action(
update.message.chat_id,
action=telegram.ChatAction.TYPING)
char_details = static_config.get(
'static', first_name).split(' ')
first = char_details[0]
last = char_details[1]
server = char_details[2]
post(ffxiv_char(first, last, server))
except Exception as e:
append_to_file(
"debug.txt",
"{} - Error {}\n{}\n{}\n\n\n".
format(str(datetime.now()), str(e),
traceback.format_exc(),
str(update)))
post(
"i don't know your character name. "
+
"tell erika or use /char [first name] [last name] [server]"
)
else:
post(
"usage: /char; /char [first name] [last name] [server]"
)
elif text.lower().startswith("/achievements"):
if len(text.title().split()) == 5:
char_args = text.title()
first = char_args.split(' ')[1]
last = char_args.split(' ')[2]
server = char_args.split(' ')[3]
count = char_args.split(' ')[4]
bot.send_chat_action(
update.message.chat_id,
action=telegram.ChatAction.TYPING)
post(
ffxiv_achievements(
first, last, server, count))
elif len(text.title().split()) == 2:
try:
bot.send_chat_action(
update.message.chat_id,
action=telegram.ChatAction.TYPING)
char_details = static_config.get(
'static', first_name).split(' ')
first = char_details[0]
last = char_details[1]
server = char_details[2]
count = text.split(' ')[1]
if int(count) > 40 or int(count) < 1:
post("really " + first_name +
"? i mean... really?")
else:
post(
ffxiv_achievements(
first, last, server,
count))
except ValueError:
post(
"you failed at writing a regular number, well done"
)
else:
post(
"usage: /achievements [#]; /achievements [firstname] [lastname] [server] [#]"
)
elif text.lower().startswith(
"/item ") and len(text) > 6:
bot.send_chat_action(
update.message.chat_id,
action=telegram.ChatAction.TYPING)
item = ffxiv_item(text[6:])
if str(type(item)) == "<type 'str'>":
post(item)
else:
post(item[0])
if item[1] != "":
post(item[1])
elif text.lower() == "/quote":
quote_file = open(
"data/mball.txt").read().splitlines()
post(random.choice(quote_file))
elif text.lower().startswith(
"/quote") and len(text) > 7:
names = static_config.get(
'static', 'names').splitlines()
# Pull aliases for names from static_config.ini
name_elem = next(name for name in names
if text[7:].lower() +
',' in name.lower())
name = name_elem[:name_elem.index(':') + 1]
quote_file = open(
"data/mball.txt").read().splitlines()
random.shuffle(quote_file)
post(
next(line for line in quote_file
if line.startswith(name)))
elif text.lower().startswith("/calc"):
post(calculate(text, first_name))
elif text.lower().startswith("/tweet"):
if len(text) < 7:
post("usage: /tweet (some garbage)")
elif len(text) >= 140:
post(
"maybe make your tweet just a teensy bit shorter?"
)
else:
post_tweet(text[7:])
post(
random.choice([
"tweet posted. fuccckkkk",
"tweet posted. this is a terrible, terrible idea",
"tweet posted. why though? why?",
"garbage posted.", "tweet posted.",
"tweet posted. it's a shitty tweet and this is coming from a toilet"
]) + " (http://twitter.com/raidbot)")
elif text.lower() == "/vgm":
post(vgm())
elif text.lower().startswith("/guide"):
if len(text) > 7:
result = guide(text[7:])
if result:
post(guide(text[7:]))
else:
post("what")
else:
post(
"usage: /guide a8 savage; /guide antitower, etc."
)
elif text.lower().startswith("/addtwitter"):
# /addtwitter bird_twitter bird
add_twitter_cmd = text.lower().split()
if len(add_twitter_cmd) == 3:
append_to_file(
"twitters.txt", '/{},{}\n'.format(
str(add_twitter_cmd[1]),
str(add_twitter_cmd[2])))
post("done.")
else:
post(
"usage: /addtwitter [desired command] [twitter username]"
)
elif text.lower().startswith("/deletetwitter"):
del_twitter_cmd = text.lower().split()
full_list = []
found = False
if len(del_twitter_cmd) == 2:
cmd = del_twitter_cmd[1]
with open("data/twitters.txt",
"r") as twitter_file:
i = 0
j = 0
for line in twitter_file:
if line.startswith(cmd) or line[
1:].startswith(cmd):
j = i
found = True
full_list.append(line[:-1] + "\n")
i += 1
twitter_file.close()
if found:
full_list.remove(full_list[j])
with open("data/twitters.txt",
"w") as twitter_file:
for line in full_list:
twitter_file.write(str(line))
twitter_file.close()
post("done.")
else:
post(
"ummm, that account's not in the list."
)
else:
post("usage: /deletetwitter [command]")
elif text.lower() == "/usertwitters":
twitter_list = "list of saved twitters:\n"
with open("data/twitters.txt",
"r") as twitter_file:
for line in twitter_file:
twitter_list += "- {}, @{}\n".format(
line.split(',')[0],
line.split(',')[1][:-1])
twitter_file.close()
post(twitter_list)
elif text.lower() == "/alias":
post(static_config.get('static', 'alias'))
elif text.lower() == "/raid":
post(static_config.get('static', 'raid'))
elif text.lower().startswith("/weather"):
weather, latitude, longitude = get_weather(
text)
bot.send_location(update.message.chat_id,
latitude, longitude)
post(weather)
elif text.lower().startswith("/place"):
if len(text) <= 7:
post("usage: /place [place name]")
else:
place = text.title()[7:]
geolocator = Nominatim()
location = geolocator.geocode(place)
if location:
bot.send_venue(
update.message.chat_id,
title=place,
address=location.address,
latitude=location.latitude,
longitude=location.longitude)
else:
post("couldn't find that place")
elif text.lower().startswith("/translate"):
post(translate(text))
elif text.lower() == "/news":
results = latest_tweets("ff_xiv_en")
if isinstance(results, str):
post(results)
else:
for tweet in results:
post(
"https://twitter.com/ff_xiv_en/status/{}"
.format(tweet.id_str))
elif text.lower().startswith("/status"):
statuses = arrstatus()
if len(text) <= 8:
status_text = "{} status: {}\n".format(
"Excalibur",
str(statuses["Excalibur"]))
status_text += "{} status: {}".format(
"Omega", str(statuses["Omega"]))
status_text += "{} status: {}".format(
"Shiva", str(statuses["Shiva"]))
'''if all(value == "Online" for value in statuses.values()):
status_text = "\nAll servers online"
elif all(value != "Online" for value in statuses.values()):
status_text = "\nall servers down. *flush*"'''
else:
server = text.title()[8:]
if server in statuses.keys():
status_text = "{} status: {}".format(
server, str(statuses[server]))
else:
status_text = "that's not a server."
post(status_text)
elif text.lower() == "/timers":
post(timers())
elif text == "/flush":
post("aaaah. why thank you, {}. ;)".format(
first_name.lower()))
elif text.lower() == "/catperson":
post(
random_tweet(
random.choice(
["catboys_bot", "catgirls_bot"])))
elif text.lower() == "/ff14":
account = [
"ff14forums_txt", "FFXIV_Memes",
"FFXIV_Names", "FFXIV_PTFinders"
]
post(random_tweet(random.choice(account)))
elif text.lower() == "/twitter":
account = [
"ff14forums_txt", "FFXIV_Memes",
"FFXIV_Names", "Goons_TXT",
"YahooAnswersTXT", "TumblrTXT",
"Reddit_txt", "fanfiction_txt",
"WikiHowTXT", "itmeirl", "oocanime",
"damothafuckinsharez0ne", "dog_rates",
"FFXIV_PTFinders"
]
post(random_tweet(random.choice(account)))
elif text.lower() == "/rt":
post(retweet())
elif text.lower() == "/heart":
post("<3<3<3 hi {} <3<3<3".format(
first_name.lower()))
elif text.lower() == "/quoth the raven":
post(
"http://data0.eklablog.com/live-your-life-in-books/mod_article46415481_4fb61cb0e0c79.jpg?3835"
)
elif text.lower() == "/brum":
post(
random.choice([
"https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/0c/c1/9a/0cc19aa7d2184fbeb5f4ff57442f7846.jpg",
"http://i3.birminghammail.co.uk/incoming/article4289373.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/Brum1.jpg",
"https://i.ytimg.com/vi/pmBX3461TdU/hqdefault.jpg",
"https://i.ytimg.com/vi/bvnhLdFqo1k/hqdefault.jpg",
"https://abitofculturedotnet.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/img_1133.jpg"
]))
else:
with open("data/twitters.txt",
"r") as twitter_file:
for line in twitter_file:
cmd = line.split(',')[0]
if text.lower() == cmd:
post(
random_tweet(
line.split(',')[1][:-1]))
twitter_file.close()
elif text.lower() == "hey":
post(
random.choice([
"hi", "hi!", "hey", "yo", "eyyyy",
"*flush*", "sup",
"hey {}... *flush* ;)".format(
first_name.lower()),
"hello {}! *FLUSH*".format(
first_name.lower()),
"hello {}".format(first_name.lower())
]))
elif "same" == text.lower():
post_random(100, "same")
elif text.lower().startswith("i "):
post_random(100, "same")
elif "rip" == text.lower(
) or "RIP" in text or text.lower().startswith("rip"):
roll = random.randint(1, 100)
if roll == 1:
post("ded")
elif roll == 2:
post("yeah, rip.")
elif roll == 3:
post("rip")
elif text.lower() == "ping":
post("pong")
elif text.lower() == "bing":
post("bong")
elif "lol" in text.lower():
post_random(100, "lol")
elif "hail satan" in text.lower(
) or "hail santa" in text.lower(
) or "hail stan" in text.lower():
post("hail satan")
elif ("69" in text.lower() or "420" in text.lower()
) and not text.lower().startswith("http"):
post_random(4, "nice")
elif "raidbot" in text.lower():
post_random(
100,
random.choice([
"WHAT?? i wasn't sleeping i swear",
"i can hear you fine, {}. you don't need to shout"
.format(first_name.lower()),
"please redirect all your questions and comments to yoship. thank you",
"careful now",
"my /timeplayed is a time so long it cannot be comprehended by a mortal mind",
"look i'm trying to be a toilet here, stop bothering me",
"beep boop. *FLUSH*",
"yoship pls nerf my toilet handle",
"/unsubscribe", "plumber job when?????",
"switch on that toaster and throw it in me",
"...", "go flush yourself",
"what, you want me to say something witty?",
"toilet ex farm no bonus 2 mistakes = kick",
"/flush"
]))
elif "yoship" in text.lower():
post_random(
2,
random.choice([
"yoship pls nerf this static group (down my toilet bowl)",
"i can't wait for yoship to introduce stat boosting microtransactions",
"1.0 was better it had more polygons",
"lvl 60 TLT lfg exdr",
"they nerfed the catgirl butts i want all my sub money back",
"plumber job when?????",
"i know a place you can put your live letter"
]))
elif random.randint(1, 50) == 1 or TRY_AGAIN_MARKOV:
if " " in text:
line = text.lower().strip()
phrase = line.split(
' ')[-2] + " " + line.split(' ')[-1]
result = markov(phrase)[:-1]
if result[:-1].lower() == phrase.lower(
) or result == "" or len(result.split()) < 3:
TRY_AGAIN_MARKOV = True
else:
TRY_AGAIN_MARKOV = False
post(result)
update_markov_source()
if len(result) > 277:
result = result[:277]
result = result[:result.rfind(' ')]
post_tweet(result + "...")
else:
post_tweet(result)
else:
TRY_AGAIN_MARKOV = True
# elif random.randint(1, 1000) == 1: your wildest dreams
except Exception as e:
append_to_file(
"debug.txt", "{} - Error {}\n{}\n{}\n\n\n".format(
str(datetime.now()), str(e), traceback.format_exc(),
str(update)))
finally:
# Updates global offset to get the new updates
LAST_UPDATE_ID = update.update_id + 1
