def have_you_been_drinking():
# copied from https://puppet-master.com/23-ventriloquist-jokes-for-you-to-practice/
bosco.say("Have you been drinking today?").join()
# No, I have not.
bosco.wait()
bosco.say("Then why are you talking to a cardboard box?").join()
bosco.sting().join()
def generalized_knock_knock():
bosco.say("Knock knock").join()
# who is there?
bosco.wait()
bosco.say("A person's first name which also sounds like part of a phrase.").join()
# A person's first name which also sounds like part of a phrase who?
bosco.wait()
bosco.say("The complete phrase.").join()
bosco.sting().join()
def knock_knock_tennis():
bosco.say("Knock knock.").join()
# who is there?
bosco.wait()
bosco.say("Tennis.").join()
# tennis who?
bosco.wait()
bosco.say("Ten is five plus five!").join()
bosco.sting().join()
def generalized_lightbulb():
bosco.say(
"How many members of a given group does it take to change a lightbulb?"
).join()
# how many?
bosco.wait()
bosco.say(
"N plus one, where one member changes the lightbulb and N behave in a manner stereotypical of that group."
).join()
bosco.sting().join()
def say(*args, **kwargs):
kwargs.setdefault("wpm", 150)
bosco.wait()
bosco.say(*args, **kwargs).join()
def ugly_people():
# we have some good looking people out in the audience today!
bosco.wait()
bosco.lights[6:] = [(255, 255, 255)]*2
bosco.head.move(-90, 0.5, "cubic").join()
bosco.head.move(90, 1, "cubic").join()
bosco.head.move(0, 0.5, "cubic").join()
bosco.lights[6:] = [(100, 0, 0)]*2
bosco.say("And some ugly ones too!").join()
# That's not very nice! You should appologise!
bosco.wait()
bosco.say("okay..").join()
bosco.head.move(30, 0.5, "linear").join()
bosco.lights[6:] = [(0, 100, 100)]*2
moves = [
bosco.left_arm.move(-90, 2, "cubic")
bosco.right_arm.move(-90, 2, "cubic")
]
bosco.say("I am sorry.").join()
[move.join() for move in moves()]
bosco.lights[6:] = [(200, 0, 0)]*2
bosco.left_arm.move(90, 0.5, "linear")
bosco.right_arm.move(90, 0.5, "linear")
bosco.say("That you are so so so UGLY!").join()
# No, you shouldn't tell them they are ugly.
bosco.wait()
bosco.lights[6:] = [(50,50,50)]*2
bosco.head.move(-90, 2, "cubic")
bosco.say("Why? don't they know?").join()
# Bosco is very sorry, I'm sure he didn't mean it.
bosco.wait()
bosco.say("Stop putting words in my mouth")
# Come on, bosco. You are making me look foolish!
bosco.wait()
bosco.say("As if you need any help with that!").join()
bosco.sting().join()
# You know, I can be funny without a robot.
bosco.wait()
bosco.say("You are not funny... WITH... a robot!").join()
bosco.sting()
# That's it, one more word out of you and I'll pull your plug.
speech = bosco.say("talk to the hand,")
bosco.right_arm.move(50, 1, "cubic").join()
speech.join()
speech = bosco.say("because the face ain't listening.")
bosco.head.move(90, 0.5, "linear").join()
speech.join()
sting = bosco.sting()
head = bosco.head.move(0,1,"cubic")
bosco.right_arm.move(-30, 1, "cubic").join()
head.join()
sting.join()
def under_a_car():
bosco.say("I slept under a car this morning.").join()
# Why did you sleep under a car?
bosco.wait()
bosco.say("So I could wake up... OILY... in the morning!").join()
bosco.sting().join()
def elephant_sneakers():
bosco.say("Why was the elephant wearing sneakers?").join()
# Why?
bosco.wait()
bosco.say("So that he could sneak around in the grass.").join()
bosco.sting().join()
def join_the_circuits():
bosco.say("I left home when I was very young.").join()
# Why did you do that?
bosco.wait()
bosco.say("I left to join the CIRCUITS!").join()
bosco.sting()
def sad_robot():
bosco.say("What do you call a sad robot?").join()
#What do you call them?
bosco.wait()
bosco.say("A WOE Bot").join()
bosco.sting().join()
def averages():
bosco.say("Did you hear about the robot who was angrier than half of all other robots")
# No, what about it?
bosco.wait()
bosco.say("It was in mean median mode.").join()
bosco.sting().join()